You're never going to find your voice


I have some news. Sit down. Brace yourself. And no, I am not pregnant.

No. This news is about your voice. You know? That one you’ve been waiting for?

Maybe it’s your writing voice, or your teaching voice, or your coaching voice you’ve been looking for. Hell, it might just be your everyday voice. The voice that reflects your authenticity and beauty and power and grace. The voice that communicates, effortlessly, the essence of you.

Here’s the thing…
You’re never going to find your voice. Ever. Because that’s not how voices work.

As a writer first, then as a yoga teacher, and now as a coach, I am well acquainted with the quest for my voice.

I spent years trying to find mine. I searched high and low. I taught many yoga classes waiting, patiently and then impatiently, for my voice to pop up, a whisper through the murky waters, and guide me.

As a writer, I spent a decade waiting for my voice to appear miraculously, fully-formed, clear, and award-worthy. 

Simply as a human being, I’ve been waiting for my voice for the majority of my life. You know, the one that would finally allow me to say what I mean and mean what I say.

And I am here to tell you it’s bullshit.

You will never go out for a walk one day and trip upon your voice.

You’re never going to vacuum behind your dryer, and discover your voice like a missing sock.

Your voice is not a buried treasure waiting to be unearthed. That’s not the way voices work.

“Finding your voice” is a myth.

Because voices aren’t found, they are created. It’s an active endeavor.

You are the creator of your own voice. You have the capacity, and you have always had the capacity, to create your authentic voice. 

The trick? You have to actually do it. 

You have to develop your voice. Grow it. Encourage it. Practice it. You must create. 

The wonderful thing about being the author of your voice, is that if at any point it doesn't feel right, you can shift it.

Don’t like the decision you just made? Choose again.
Don’t like what you just said? Call back. Say something else. Something true-er.
Don’t like your tone, or attitude? Change it.

Your voice will evolve intuitively and organically.

You can, of course, help it to grow. The more you use your voice, the more you will be able to fine tune. With every sentence you speak (or write) you have the opportunity to hone your cadence, your vocabulary, and your message, until they shine.

Here’s the whole truth: you call the shots, darling.

So call them loud and clear, in the voice you’ve always dreamed of.